Hope

To stay with that shakiness, stay with a broken heart the rumbling stomach the feelings of hopelessness and wanting get to revenge that is the path of true awakening sticking with that uncertainty getting the knack of relaxing in the midst of chaos learning not to panic this is the spiritual path.

-Pema Chodron (by way of my incredible teacher, Kelly Lindsey)

Well,  this is a hard day for many of us. Especially those of us with vaginas. I’m sorry if you are struggling. And if you are happy, I’m happy for you! Know that I’m here with huge bear hugs, for all sides.

I don’t want revenge, or to fight. I refuse to buy into the belief that people are inherently bad. I just think people have different values, and yet at the end of the day, we all just want to live our lives. To love. To have some fun. To accomplish some things.

There can be no enemies right now, we have to work together.

I’ve spent a year and a half of trying to learn to love my own body, no matter how flawed it is. And I believe the same is true for our country. Many, many things are broken, but it was built upon a solid foundation that we need to return to. This morning in class, I could feel the collective fear, disappointment, sadness, anger, tears, etc., that all exist today. I’m letting it all be there, and remembering my own foundation.

You all know that I’ve had no choice but to build up my resilience. Being confronted with death (more times than I’d like to think about), the one foundational brick that keeps circling back into my life is the reminder to learn to love open-heartedly. To love myself, despite my (many, many) mistakes. To love my family, my partner, my neighbors, this country, and my dog; despite their ‘flaws.’

I am breathing in resilience, and breathing out love. (Thich Nhat Hahn, also by way of Kelly Lindsey)

She likely doesn’t remember, but when we were young, my sister bought me a small heart shaped box that had a thought bubble on one side that said “Love is the answer” and another bubble that said “What was the question?” I wish I still had it. It seems that it all comes full circle as it took me over 40 years to truly learn and integrate that lesson.

I spent the morning texting many of my girlfriends and simply saying “Love you.” [I’m sorry if I missed you, it was clearly a tough morning trying to gather my thoughts, but know that I do.] Especially all of you that are raising young women.

There is still so much to be grateful for. SO much. And as long as we stand together, love will win. Hope will be is abundant.

And for as long as we live in Oregon, any woman that is a friend-of-a-friend that needs healthcare is welcome to our guest room.

Other resources: Amidst all that I’ve been through, one thing I’m grateful for is that my feed and my inbox are filled with resources and tools, so I want to share a couple.

• Mind Oasis continues to host online meditations multiple times per day

• Tara Brach meditation for election anxiety

• Self-Compassion with Kristin Neff

• Any Pema Chodron book, they are all amazing

• Me! Reach out via text, call or email. I’ll sit with you, cry with you, hug you, zoom with you, whatever will help.