Transitions

Friday was my last day at work.

I’ve been riding face first through the waves of doom and relief. 

We had a nice weekend though!

Friday I wrapped up my work day around 1 and then we went out and got Cocktails and dinner.  I definitely drank more than I have in, probably, years.  But that was the point. 

I spent most of Saturday paying for that coping mechanism until we managed to rally and visit some friends at a snow park. They had a grill and coolers so we ate burgers (they had gf buns!) while we watched kids hurl themselves down a large hill and then run with a lung capacity I couldn’t dream of,  right back up it. It was a beautiful day to bask in the sun and meet some new like-minded friends. 

Sunday,  I pushed myself super hard and did a very difficult 4 mile hike right by our house aptly named “misery ridge.” We did this hike two years ago when I was ‘healthy’ and whined the whole way then.  So,  while it took a long time,  I’m super proud of myself for embracing slowness and really taking it in,  and still accomplishing something that made me feel good.

These ‘feats,’ no matter how small,  are what remind me how grateful i am to still be alive.  I don’t understand the why’s,  but I’m feeling very grateful for the many chances and trying to learn everything I can from a many as they’ll give me.

Now we’re home making dinner, and I still keep getting the Sunday scaries. Isn’t that interesting? It’s programmed.

Alas exhaling an audible sigh and trusting that something better is upon me.