Rest

Not a lot is happening right now, which, frankly, I’m very grateful for.

I spent most of last week dealing with the administrative burden of being unemployed (lawyers, filing for unemployment, etc) and by the time all that was done, I was pretty exhausted. I spent the weekend mostly reading and resting, but also got out to a couple women’s meetups and met a new friend for a drink.

This week, I have taken it easy as well. I had a few appointments and caught up with a few old work connections. Alas, I’ve been getting a lot of messages from the universe that rest and not resistance are important for me right now, and I am trying my best to lean in and embrace that.

Medically, my cough is getting better, thank goodness. That came at the cost of a lot of prednisone last week, which my tummy is paying for. It’s such a toss up between the rock and the hard place, but I choose breathing over my gut health and digestion so now I’ll pivot to heal that aspect as well and get it back on track. Next week I have my autoimmune blood work redone and a PCP appointment to see if that all evened out. I really hope so.

In a few more weeks, I’ll have my endocrinologist blood work redone to check my tumor markers and thyroid numbers. I’m hopeful with the increased dose of thyroid hormone, everything looks better and we won’t have to increase it even more. If the tumor markers are lower, that will be a positive indication that the cancer is moving more toward maintenance mode. Fingers crossed.

In April, I just booked a quick tripe to Austin to get my echo and see my cardiologist and rheumatologist. I wanted to get those tests done before I lose this insurance since I hit my yearly max already and they are expensive. <WHEN>I get a new job with new insurance, the deductible will start all over and I’ll be starting back at square one. Sigh.

At this point I’m really just trying hard to NOT be me and allow myself to rest. It’s not easy, but I know that I need to release all of the stress of the last 8 months. I’m giving myself a few weeks to brainstorm and do some soul searching. I would love to find a way to make a living outside of corporate America and still have health insurance. I did some research into LCSW programs too, but unfortunately I don’t think that is going to work out. It’s more time and money than I originally thought. Still, I am opening myself up to all possibilities and exploring all options. I have been given a whole new opportunity and I want to make the best of it.

Jeremy comes home today from his shift, and it’s supposed to be in the 60s here this weekend, so I’m excited to go camping and get some nature time!