Surgery week: v2

“Life begins on the other side of despair.” -Jean Paul Sarte

Ok the surgery is coming up fast. We leave for California Wednesday morning.

I’m feeling a bit of overwhelm but trying to remain as focused and functional as possible so that I can get everything done beforehand and feel like I’m leaving things in a good place.

I had an MRI this morning on my hip. I told my pcp and PT person that I want to do any test they could ever think of this year while I’m still on this insurance. The PT person recommended this just to try to ensure nothing else is going on with my hip since it’s not getting better. Luckily that was the last one for now and it is done.

I did laundry and started to pack, trying to ensure I have all my medicine and machines and other nonsense like that. We have a full kitchen in our hotel, so that is a plus. It’s hard for my body to handle restaurant food multiple days in a row. Hopefully Jeremy can make me a couple meals before he leaves (hint hint baby)!

Keeping normal life stuff in check while dealing with this extra fun is a struggle. Mortgages and bills due, insurance payments, trash day, etc all swirl around in my head. Cleaning! Cleaning is a major to-do list item today in preparation. I will get done what I can get done.

I’m very grateful that my MIL is coming to watch Mckenzie, that is one thing I won’t have to worry about. I will miss my sweet lil Zie.

So the plan, for now,

• We fly out Wed am (arrive around 4pm pst)

• Jeremy will be with me from Wed-Sun.

• My friend Jenn will be there with us throughout the time I am there. Very grateful for her as well.

• Thursday, August 1st, I have the preop appt at 10:20 with the surgeon and then the anesthesiologist.

• Friday,  August 2: surgery day

• Jenn and I stay in CA until the following Thursday, Aug 8th.

  • I have my post op at 9:20 am

  • My flight is at 7pm.

It’s a late flight, but I wanted direct since I will be flying alone. That caused a bit of back and forth cause there were earlier flights out of closer airports but I really didn’t want to have to navigate a layover since I’m unsure how sore I’ll be. I will check my bag, Jenn will get me on a wheelchair, and they will take me to my gate.

Then home. I am already excited for that moment of walking back in my door.

I didn’t think I was overly nervous but I did just have a mini meltdown. It happens out of nowhere sometimes. I think it’s more overwhelm then nerves, but there is also something unsettling about not knowing what this surgery completely entails. I guess I will find out Thursday. In the meantime, I’m trying to mentally prepare for the worst, but know that it should be a far faster of a recovery than the last one. I do know I can’t drive for two weeks and have to limit my physical activity (though I’m unsure of the extent yet).

I’m just hopeful this robot arm is in and out with minimal damage and they don’t find anything else.

I’m trying to, once again, summon visions of the river completely clearing out the cancer.

Please let this be it for a while. Fingers crossed. And, I won’t be shocked if it’s not. One thing at a time.

Jeremy will post with news on Friday after the surgery. I’ll update if anything comes up before then. Thank you all one again for the texts, emails, and well wishes. They really do help a ton!

Here’s some pics from this weekend last hurrah