Gearing up

It feels as though a lot is happening and nothing is happening at the same time.

I’m back in the daily grind. Work is picking up. After my retreat high has dissipated, although I’ve certainly tried to keep some learnings from it in my day to day.

Gratitude. S p a c i o u s n e s s. Presence (or at least my version of it)

I’ve been good at gratitude for a while now. I have had a gratitude journal for many years and even did a gratitude facebook challenge for 30 days many years ago when I did facebook a lot (and if I were a savvy blog writer I would link to that series here, but I’m not. It’s searchable if you’re a savvy search person and, for some reason, care).

Spaciousness has become more familiar since moving here. The bummer thing is our opposite schedules have made our nature-time a little challenging (Jeremy is currently working nights). We’re finding little ways to integrate it in though. We went camping with a friend and her dog who were here visiting and it was super fun. And our two antisocial dogs coexisted very well after McKenzie stopped chewing on her ears!

And finally, I have determined that presence, for me right now, is looking only at the next 24 hours and whatever big appointment is next. I can only worry that far ahead and I can only plan that far ahead.

It is starting to feel neverending. I had the ear appointment to get the mri results and the cyst-like thing that they thought was in my ear is not a cyst thing. So they aren’t sure what it is but there is’t really away to find out with a ‘small procedure.’ UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

After he confirmed that my cancer surgery was the first step [ya think?!] he is going to talk to the radiologist that did the scan (I’m not actually sure what about) and then I see him again next week. Sigh.

But that’s not the next big appointment!

Monday we go to Portland to finally see the specialist at OHSU (the main medical center in Oregon). And our 14 YEAR(!) anniversary is next Wednesday so we’re making a celebratory overnight out of it. The pride parade is happening Sunday so we’re gonna go cheer at the parade, then get gussied up and have a cocktail and a nice dinner…or pizza, or whatever we feel like! Then we’ll wake up very chipper and go to the appointment on Monday morning. Cause nothing says ‘I love you and Happy Anniversary’ like seeing like the oncologist!

I will report back with pictures.

In the mean time:

I have enough. I do enough. I know enough. I am enough.

You have enough. You do enough. You know enough. You, dear reader, are enough.

And more Mckenzie pics cause why not.

I got my butt up in the air and I just don’t care.