Atlanta to Austin

arighino
Feb 22, 2025
5 min read

But that is how we beat death. We beat death by living while we are here. Death may be infinite, but, as we know, infinity is a relative concept. We can create a bigger infinity out of life. By feeling. And every day I feel. I feel deeply and intensely and what I feel is gratitude.

-Matt Haig

It was definitely a whirlwind week, and, at the same time, very nourishing.

It started in Atlanta visiting Jeremy’s family, which, at this point I think I can say after almost 15 years, is my family now too. They are very kind and open-hearted people, and it always feels cozy and full of love. I have a very different background from them, and they accepted my sarcastic and pointed personality long before I learned to allow myself to be let in as part of the family. I think that shifted a bit this visit.

Outside of his parents, we hung out with some of Jeremy’s great friends, whom always make it feel like no time even passed, and his sister, brother-in-law and nieces (who are growing up way too fast).

I’m addition, my niece had a cheer competition in downtown Atlanta over the weekend, so I was able to spend time with her and my sister on this trip as well. It was like a clash of two separate worlds! We went to the competition on Sunday and I was able to see her perform for the first time. It was one of the most crowded events I have been to since pre-covid. I had no idea how many kids participated in this specific version of cheer (which is not through a school). It was a little overwhelming for us, and yet, she did amazing up on that huge stage! Their team didn’t rank as well as she hoped, so there was some major teenage disappointment, but I was impressed. I also think that the trip was a good nudge for both her and my sister learned that leaving your comfort zone and trying new things isn’t so bad; and I’m extremely proud of both of them. They even rode the subway!

We played games, went to the stunning Atlanta aquarium, ate a lot of great food, went bowling, and filled our hearts with connection. Thank you so much to the Osbornes, Mullers, Wagners, and Benards for all the love!

Then, I was off to Austin for a 28-hour appointment-filled rollercoaster. I originally planned to be in Atlanta the whole week with Jeremy, but late last year my rheumatologist said that they couldn’t submit a refill for my medicine cause I hadn’t been seen in a while, so I quickly pivoted and adjusted the trip to include this stopover so I didn’t have to pay for a separate big trip. I also decided to try this quick turnaround so I didn’t have to mix doctors appointments with seeing friends. I am often so anxious on those trips that it’s hard to be present with my friends, so I am hoping separating the two will make it more fun when we go back at some point later this year.

Luckily the timing of everything worked out. I am so grateful that my flight there was on time, cause I only had a couple hour buffer before my $1400 echocardiogram. Yay $5000 health insurance deductible! (I hope you can sense my sarcasm). Alas I made it, had the test done. An echocardiogram is basically a fancy ultrasound of your heart, so no poking involved.

Then I high tailed it across town in the intense Austin traffic, especially because it was raining, and made it to my rheumatologist appointment.

My blood work has been stable so I didn’t expect any surprises at this appointment, but you just never know. My cold fingers often have hard time with pulse ox machines not registering, but this time, it ran and came in at 87 when it’s supposed to be 99 or 100! My allergies have been flaring quite a bit so my breathing hasn’t been great, but not that bad. The nurse didn’t seem to care and I didn’t act fast enough to ask for a different machine. She just said “I’ll note it in your chart.” Oy vey, what now?

The doctor looked me over and asked for updates regarding all my various ailments, and she thinks I can just stay the course. I did ask about tapering down off the nucala shots that I give myself monthly for the autoimmune. After the OHSU endocrinologist noted that it seemed to be a common factor in a few of her other young patients, I wanted to chat through this. My rheumatologist does not think it’s related, and she wants me to run it by my pulmonologist first as well, but also feels fine about trying to stretch it out to 5 or 6 weeks and see how I do. Exciting!

I just had one, so I’ll see how I feel when it’s time for the next one.

Thank you to Kristin and Jef for housing me and for hosting a few folks over that night to reconnect momentarily, it is always nice to have a break from appointments.

The whole night I ruminated about that pulse ox, though. Of course, the one bit of ‘bad’ news of the day and my mind fixates on that. Erg.

The next day I had the appointment with my cardiologist to get the echo results. This is important because my heart valves still leak a little bit despite the open heart valve-repair surgery that was done in 2016. That is common, as they can never get it to 100%, but as time goes by, it breaks down and can increase the amount of leaking, which can cause a bunch of issues. I haven’t been having any symptoms, so I was hopeful.

The nurse took my vitals and pulse ox was 99! The stupid machine at the other office was broken, so all that worrying was for nothing. Go figure.

Dr. Bhatt is the GOAT of doctors. He is smart, compassionate, and just a gem of a human, so I was excited to see him. His scribe came in first and asked me a bunch of questions and took notes, and then when he arrived it was all hugs and catching up. He called me a badass! He said that overall everything is stable and in a decade or so, when it may not be, he’s confident they will have perfected a technique they are trying now in which they go up through a vein and is much less invasive than a sternotomy. I reminded him that there’s no way I’m doing that again, and he feels I won’t have to.

PHEW.

I really can’t believe this is all happening. I guess I am…healthy!

Well, at least as healthy as I’ll likely ever be. This is a new mindset and perspective that I am trying to embrace instead of increasing my hypervigilance and waiting for something else in me to go awry, which is my default reaction.

This is not an easy cycle to break, but I am working on it as we now shift focus to determining how and where we want to move forward with jobs, locations, and figuring out finances. Our homeowners insurance for the Austin house is requiring we get a new roof, so throwing those extra fun adulting exercises (and expenses) into our life as well. But all of that is just stuff and things that need done. They are not what’s really important, and that’s what I want to keep in perspective.

If I learned anything from this whole experience thus far, it’s :