Positive

Well, it happened.

After 3 years of being super careful, I contracted covid from a work event I had to travel to in Denver.

Let me tell you, it’s been a helluva week.

Sooo many emotions, especially for the first two days as Jeremy and I tried to navigate our fears, the internet full of conflicting information, and the waves of utter shame that I felt.

Physically, I’ve been very lucky.

I’m definitely experiencing the suck in waves…I’ll feel pretty good for a while and then the trend is that mid afternoon, i’ll have a wave of feeling really strange. Nothing is normal about this sickness.

I haven’t had a fever or loss of any senses. It’s been achiness, slight scratchy throat, faucety-nose, and a deep cough. Also waves of wooziness and a feeling of wanting to jump out of my skin. Covid brain is also very real, finding words and expressing myself is extremely difficult (why it took me so long to write this).

I’m unsure if it’s related but my eye is also irritated and I have a sight rash on my hands. sigh.

SO strange.

I have to say, though, this has taught me alot of lessons.

First, I’m so damn grateful for this tiny powerhouse of a body I have. As paranoid as I was about how my body would react to the vaccines, I now credit them with how mild it has been.

For 3 years I expected I would end up on a ventilator considering the state of my immune system and all the trauma my lungs and heart of undergone.

Second, the forced isolation. Lucky we are still in a 3 bedroom place, so I’ve been relegated the upstairs rooms while Jeremy gets the downstairs and other bedroom. I’m also SO grateful he likes me and is willing to bring me all my meals, but not being independent enough to get my own ice water is VERY humbling for someone like me.

Third, the trust in the healing. I feel good in the morning so it’s hard not to be on my normal workout routine, but everyone keeps reminding me that I need to rest and I definitely noted that the days I didn’t, ended up worse in the afternoon.

Alas I’m on day 5 so we both plan to retest tomorrow. I don’t expect to be negative yet, but I’m supposed to be less contagious tomorrow so if I feel ok we decided I can at least gather my own food and water from the kitchen.

Up to this point Jeremy has remained negative (thank goodness).

I’m just so ready for hugs and some freedom! I remind myself constantly, though, that my antsyness is a privilege I have for not being terribly sick.

Very, very grateful to be breathing, working and doing the things I am capable of thus far.

Hopefully it’s over soon.